Backyard Delulu Part 3: Turns Out HGTV Left A Few Things Out
The Home University Nobody Warns You About
AKA: How I accidentally earned a minor in construction.Welcome to my Backyard Delulu: But Make it Educational
This is the part HGTV usually skips.
In 2025, we hired a general contractor to help bring the rest of our exterior vision to life.
Well…
Let’s just say I gained trust issues, learned way more about construction than I ever intended to, & spent an alarming amount of time standing outside my house, just staring at it.
Somewhere along the way, the sad saxophone music started playing.
🎷🎷🎷
Here’s what this experience taught me.
First… Get Everything in Writing
Even things that seem obvious.
Timeline
Payment schedule
Materials
Cleanup
Who buys what
What happens if something changes
Because if it’s not written down… It doesn’t exist.
🎨 Lesson 1: Fresh Paint… Shouldn’t Be Chipping
One of the first things I noticed? Paint was already chipping. Less than a year later.
Not just on one spot either. Parts of our original siding & the porch columns started peeling way sooner than they should have.
Maybe I’m asking for too much… But I feel like “lasting longer than one Atlanta summer is a reasonable expectation.
🎷 Cue the sad saxophone solo.
What I learned: Ask what prep work they’re doing before they ever open a paint can.
🐶 Lesson 2: Be Weirdly Specific
I asked for… “A simple dog gate.”
Apparently, what was heard was… “Let’s extend the porch railing & hang an entire engineering experiment from it.”
It had wheels.
It had hinges.
It also had absolutely no interest in supporting its own weight.
The dogs were confused. I was confused. Honesty, I think the gate was confused.
What I learned: Never assume you’re picturing the same thing. Photos, sketches, Pinterest screenshots… bring them all. Get your folder inspo together.
🚪 Lesson 3: Tiny Details Matter
One of our doors looked beautiful… Until I got closer. Paint bubbles. Dust. Tiny chunks trapped underneath.
Turns out the paint hadn’t been strained before it was used. Now every time I walk by it…
I see it. Every. Single. Time.
🎷 The saxophones got louder.
What I learned: Zoom in before making the final payment. Then zoom in again.
🖌️ Lesson 4: Caulk Is Apparently an Art Form
I never imagined I’d become someone with opinions about caulk. Yet here we are.
Some of ours… Let’s just call it “expressive.”
I’ve decided it’s vintage charm. Old-house character. Intentional texture… (I’m lying to myself.)
What I learned: Good caulk should disappear. If you notice it from across the room… It’s probably not great.
🔨 Lesson 5: The Day I Accidentally Mansplained Construction
At some point, something shifted…
Maybe it was fatigue. Maybe it was frustration… Or maybe it was, I was becoming the general contractor.
But I caught myself saying things like…
“That really should’ve been scribed.”
“I don’t think that’s the proper miter cut.”
“Did they use wood filler there?”
Who even am I? A year ago, I would’ve nodded politely. Now I’m inspecting trim like I’m judging HGTV. Turns out YouTube University is surprisingly effective.
🎷 Full jazz ensemble.
😅 Final Thoughts
I don’t regret hiring help.
The house was built in 1930, & despite everything, it really does look better than when we bought it in 2021.
But I do regret assuming I knew what questions to ask.
If I could go back, I’d…
✔️ Ask way more questions.
✔️ Request progress photos & itenerary.
✔️ Walk the project before every payment.
✔️ Zoom in before making the last payment.
Because even if you’re not planning to DIY everything Knowing how something should be done makes you a much better homeowner.
Anyways… See y’all at Home Depot.
Again.
